#while i dont agree with this 'discourse' for lack of a better term

[aggravates]

was scrolling on here and saw a rly cool and popular artist ive been following for ages spoiler the hogwarts game and the post had over 100k notes

so i wanna go over my thoughts on this whole scenario ig

[girldraki]

re: the recent discourse post a lot of the discourse around this stuff is so bad that, despite my experiences matching up with a lot of system-related stuff, im scared to even ask people about it because i have bpd

BLANKET APOLOGY for taking.,.. several days to answer this our front is never the best but. like. before anything else i’m so sorry that’s happened to you

/hug if you’re comfortable

and. god i wish i could give you a better answer to this. the best advice i can give you is to maybe look into static resources first? i know it can be hard because individual resources come from different people and all have different ranges of... acceptance for lack of a better term but in terms of resources i can recommend. here are some under the cut?

[blanket disclaimer that there are probably some overlapping links here, especially via the hub type stuff, and also obligatory note that we dont agree with every single viewpoint of every single person linked in all the hubs]

healthymultiplicity’s plurality 101 section,(which has links to several different explanations of several different kinds of plurality)

morethanone.info is a fairly introductory carrd, but the “myths“ and “what is it like“ sections both have external pages linked which might be helpful for you to read

dissociative initiative’s free welcome pack includes a few entry level-ish brochures and posters, including a small pdf on dissociation specifically. there’s probably other specific descriptions of dissociation in the linked resources but this is the only one i can earmark ?

so, okay, the above are general resources for if you have a basic and/or limited grasp of plurality and you need to get a general idea of what it entails to check your experiences against it. obviously idk if this is the case for you but if you have an okay grasp on it:

sarah k. reece’s countering myths about multiplicity might still help you as a concise rundown of a bunch of things that plurals regularly differ on while all still being plural

the vickis’ wonderful world of the midcontinuum site is a good intro to what is currently known as the median spectrum, which is something that, like i mentioned, a lot of people seen as “not multiple enough” fall into and an underrated topic of discussion in plural spaces. the main page

two specific essays from the vickis’ site directly touching the topic of “do i call myself multiple, plural, or a singlet(on)” are does it work? and the power of naming; the first is a general musing on labels (including the idea that sometimes a given plural might be more or less fully multiple) and the second is specifically about self-determination and questioning a fully medicalized model of plurality.

sarah k. reece’s how do i know i’m multiple leans more medically focused, but is another article specifically about That Question and if you’re suspecting you have did or osdd

(in terms of warnings: -healthymultiplicity has some stuff on there that hits common triggers; the headings for those sections are clearly marked as such and labeled in the table of contents. -the “quick and dirty plural history“ linked on a few different pages specifically is largely about the history of the mpd/did diagnosis and therefore (off the top of my head) ends up directly discussing pretty much any kind of abuse you can think of. -some of the personal experiences on the vicki’s site go into triggering territory; the same “basically any given type of abuse” warning from the prior point applies. -abuse history in general is a pretty common topic of discussion; i don’t think anything i didn’t call out goes into the extreme area but i don’t perfectly remember all of these either.)

also uh. a couple of quick litmus tests:

if you go through some or all of those links and you still think, or think more, that this is a possibility, then. there is a very real chance that you’re right. obviously, there can be a lot of similarity between bpd and (mostly disordered) plurality, but despite what assholes online like to say, like. if you keep repeatedly feeling like multiple people, even if the way you experience that is fundamentally tied to your bpd (which i also dont know but. if it is?), the borderline diagnosis does not automatically bar you from attaining a Plural Card

we’ve said it before. but uh. being plural is not a societally advantaged thing. there is very little clout or sympathy to be gained from it. if knowing about all the stigma and even experiencing lateral stigma from within the community you still want to use the words plural or median or multiple. there is probably a reason for that. i can’t 100% say its that youre plural because we dont like absolute statements but there is something there and it’s probably that, to be honest

we wouldnt have listened to this one either and it might sound joking or sarcastic. i promise its not. i know bpd comes with a lot of sharp differences of internal opinion but if at any point you find yourself by turns actively attempting to declare yourself plural, or writing down shit like “HEY LOSER WE’RE A SYSTEM“ (definitely not autobio), or like in general repeatedly alternating between actively verbalizing and completely shutting down the idea that you could be plural, that is a flag. that is double a flag if names are getting signed. i promise this isnt supposed to be condescending systems are just THAT bad with denial. like. we were

we can also answer individual questions you have (as a system of unknown but possible trauma origin who almost certainly have bpd, and as people who have done a relative lot of research on plurality) and we know we’ve got a lot of plural followers as well who would probably be up to sharing

and. obviously it can’t help how other people act. but i promise this is perfectly coherent to basically most people who understand how plurality, bpd, and overlapping neurodivergences in general work and arent so lost in the s*scourse sauce theyve forgotten how to be decent to people who are also overwhelmingly trauma survivors. like. i understand and i promise there are plenty of other people who will accept you if it does turn out you’re plural (and if it doesn’t, too).

im not 100% on a way to end this that isnt mortifyingly cheesy and frankly i think im failing anyway but like. i’m still so sorry you’ve had these experiences and no matter what conclusion you come to im supporting you. i hope this was able to help you even a little

[actualbird]

yo you totally made me think about low empathy michael and it like totally makes sense and i think about it a lot when i listen to two player game bc ye like he OBVIOUSLY cares a lot about jeremy and he loves him and like jeremy's stating his problem and michael keeps saying the same solution cause like "that's the answer bro, don't be down" bc he cant wrap his head around the emotions and connect w them that well so in his mind he's just saying this completely fool proof solution i love this hc

yo i got this ask while balls deep in three books of discourse analysis i could only understand by like 10% but because of that was in the mood to just. keep thinking my brain in circles.

so heres a stupidly long answer cataloging canon instances of michael being low empathy af/exhibiting other traits related to this. along with like, characterization to extrapolate from that (at least by my own personal interpretation. obligatory disclaimer that how i see characters is not law, this is just My Take). 

but before that, im gonna define some terms outright so we’re all on the same page. empathy is a person’s capability to understand and feel what others are feeling. basically how well you can put yourself in somebody else’s shoes. this shouldnt be confused with sympathy, which is feeling compassion, pity, sorrow etc. for another. empathy is recognition/replication while sympathy is more on the caring about it. here i focus on empathy and the lack of it. 

im not an expert on Anything but speaking from experience as somebody who has very low empathy, this causes some complications. when you dont feel what others are feeling, sometimes you dont notice other people’s feelings at all. this results in stuff like bluntness, trouble reading social cues, insensitivity, etc. all things that 1) may happen unintentionally, 2) can be worked through via healthy communication, 3) are not inherently bad, just a result of how one reacts to external emotions and 4) things i totally think michael exhibits because hes a low empathy goblin i love with my whole heart. 

let’s get right into it. in more than survive, right after jeremy and michael discover their boyf riend backpacks, this exchange occurs

this seems pretty normal at first glance but it is the first instance of what seems to be michael’s go-to pattern for when he notices his best friend is feeling down, which, at least, kudos to michael, he very obviously noticed jeremy’s feelings. hurrah! so his process for how to fix this goes a little like “step 1: notice jeremy is upset. step 2: cheer jeremy up! step 3: unknowingly kinda mess up step 2“

jeremy is upset about the backpacks but then jeremy provides an out with something supposedly positive. michael latches on to it. it turns out to be negative. michael tries to salvage the situation by cheering jeremy up! by giving him a cool science fact! hell yeah! except it’s a shaky save at best because he does call the both of them losers but in an “it’s okay :D” way. 

all in all this is nothing really, just some friendly fast paced banter between best friends. whats important here is the 3 step pattern aforementioned because it 1) shows that michael Cares about his best friend and tries to make things better and 2) is BASICALLY the entirety of two player game

TWO PLAYER GAME is such a BOP and, at its core, is a song about how michael has got jeremy’s back and vice versa. but tpg is also textbook the 3 step pattern with added sprinkle of unintended invalidation. ive briefly spoken about tpg before so this might look a lil familiar but at its gist:

like you said anon, in tpg jeremy tells michael a problem he has, and throughout the course of the song, he continually makes it known that hes upset and has a lot of issues. step 1 has been achieved: michael knows jeremy is not doing too hot. time to do step 2: cheer him up!! and what better way to do that than to think positive with his trademark line “guys like us are cool in college” like, over and over again. because….it makes sense for michael. things might suck now, but just keep swimming yeah? it’ll be better later.

but it’s not better now and thats what jeremy actually needed validation on. michael thinks the solution is to look to the future but jeremy has his problems bothering him in the present. for all that michael says this is a two player game, he’s unintentionally dismissive because he doesnt understand that this isnt something that can be fixed with a simple “look forward to two years from now” mentality. neither of them are in the wrong, really. theyre just not on the same page.

onwards we go to something else entirely. the chili fries

this is a RIDICULOUSLY SMALL MOMENT but it stuck out to me because imo it is pretty obvious that jeremy says “leave me alone” because hes bummed and is being dramatic, but michael takes it literally and uses the opportunity to skedaddle and get his sweet sweet discontinued soda. im aware michael had to be gone for plot reasons and also the discontinued soda is foreshadowing for the mtn dew red, but taken at face value, this is something that happens a lot w/ low empathy: things are taken literally. 

jeremy is upset. jeremy said to give him some space. thats cool, i’ll go for a bit and come back with something neat that might cheer him up—hey, where’d he go?

and now let’s jump to something everybody and their dog knows about. michael in the bathroom. except not really. because mitb isnt what interests me so much as what happens before.

pre mitb is very, very interesting. before i say anything i’ll be clear in saying that literally nobody had even remotely a nice halloween night, it’s a disaster for everybody involved, but keep in mind that jeremy goes into the pre mitb scene immediately after the clusterfuck that is do you wanna hang and also getting chased down by a sloshed but aggressive jake. many people have said this before me but i’ll say it again: jeremy was not doing well. at all. 

and this is where michael fails step 1 of his pattern. he doesnt pick up on this at all. michael is kinda stuck in his own head right now. hes pissed. hes confused. hes betrayed. he cant understand other people’s feelings and now he has to deal with his own too. his head is a melting pot of AGH and he takes it out on jeremy. yeah, he tries to help jeremy, but he doesnt do it very well. it’s all very accusatory, and jeremy just had a terrible night, so jeremy lashes out.

teenagers are bad at emotions but theyre not bad people for it.  //cue mitb notes, we know the drill

to the play!!! 

recap for maximum contextualization: jeremy realizes the squip is bad fucking news and wants it gone. michael makes an entrance with the one thing that can kill it. and then this happens

AIGHT okay so the whole “i need an apology” scene is obviously played for comedy, and it does a good job at suddenly diffusing the end of the world stakes with some more down to earth teen friend drama but that aside, this scene is a good candidate to be listed under the definition of the phrase “bad timing” because michael, holy shit. BAD TIMING. like great timing for humor but bad timing as a human being. 

here we have jeremy clearly in possessed distress and michael has the antidote but he only wants to give it on a condition. it is absolutely a dick move. yeah, michael is is valid for wanting an apology, but not at this moment with the current stakes. this is michael thinking pretty selfishly. hes stuck in his own head and his own thoughts. he cares about jeremy and wants to help but…this apology important to him. it’s easy to get stuck on things like this when you cant empathize with others. the low empathy means that the only feelings you really get to really interact with are your own, so theres a tendency to focus on them. sometimes even at inopportune moments.

unintentional asshole-ery behold. in fact, this can be pushed even harder by this snippet in the score of be more chill that had some lines from an earlier draft. 

the fetus version of michael makes an entrance is hilariously low empathy, oh my god. this happens while jeremy is rolling around on the floor fighting an invisible-to-everybody-else squip and this is the first thing michael says. it’s positively dickish. 

SO with that done, a little bit can be extrapolated in terms of characterization. i think michael is low empathy so the dominos fall. michael is terrible at feelings. hes got a tendency to get stuck in his own head and not see what others are going through. his emotional periphery is abysmal, hes like a horse with those things that stop horses from looking to the side. in spite of all this, he still has a lot of love and good in his heart and he tries his best to show that in the ways that make sense to him. post-canon, the rift between his brain and jeremy’s brain can only be bridged by a big healthy heap of communication where michael learns that what makes sense to him isnt always what makes sense to other people. hes a good kid. he can do it. 

of course this is, again, all my take. the fun thing about transformative work and fandom is that all interpretations are valid and there will always be somebody out there who agrees. or disagrees. but on this blog, this is my michael. or at least one aspect of my michael. //shrug

ANYWAY im glad you like the hc anon!! ive obviously got a lot of feelings about it since i used your ask as an excuse to aimlessly ramble for, holy shit, 1.6 k words lmao. i hope you have a good day!!!